Note: It has been my desire for a while now to have some young ladies share failed courtship stories, since the only ones we ever hear are the “perfect” ones. I know it is a very personal issue, though, so I have not felt comfortable asking anyone to do this. I was so thankful how the Lord just opened this particular young ladies’s heart to share her story with us. I am sure that there are many failed courtship stories out there that we just never hear about. While I truly believe that courtship is a wonderful thing, it is not always without its heartaches. Names and details have been omitted to protect privacy. Having said that, here is her story. ~ Ed.

I love all of these stories on courtship. It is always so encouraging when everything turns out well and the way you had hoped it would . But what happens when everything falls apart and doesn't work?! I feel that God wants me to share my story with you to help those who are suffering or have suffered the way I have. To let you know there are other people out there that have had the same thing happen to them so that you don’t feel so alone. Just to make sure all is clear, I am not writing this to discourage courtship– but to encourage those on in courtship. Whether your courtship ends in marriage or you end up deciding that it isn't to be, that is a successful courtship. Remember that all things work together for good to them that know God. Here is my story.

He came like a knight in shinning armor into my life when I was fourteen years old. At the time, he was 15. We met at church .Our families became quick friends and started to get together quite often. Whenever we got together we were almost inseparable. We were quickly becoming good friends. We told each other our dreams and ambitions .No one thought anything of it since we were so young. I was just learning about guarding my heart at the time, and thought that was going to be a piece of cake; little did I know then. I was just thinking about him as a friend until one day I realized I was starting to care for him more than that.

When I turned sixteen, it became apparent to all those around us that we liked each other more than just friends. We had crossed the line between still being children and becoming young adults. So his parents thought it would be best for us not to talk to each other anymore . We still met at the same church , but we didn't even say hello anymore. It was awful! As I look back I don't know how I got through it. During that time he seemed to have gotten close to another girl at our church. It killed me to see that another girl was allowed to talk to him and not me! I prayed many, many times for the Lord to help me to know if he was the one He had for me or not. I really felt in my heart he was the one for me so I kept praying and seeking wisdom on what to do.

Then when I turned 18, with our parents’ permission, we slowly started talking again. Actually, now that I think about it, it wasn't slowly. We picked up pretty much right where we had left off. My dream has always been to marry my best friend, so I thought things were going perfectly. He then started to come to our house at least once a day and often ate dinner with my family. I looked forward everyday to his visits. One day, just after my 19th birthday, he came to my Dad and asked him for me. My Dad told him he felt he was too young for a relationship since he was just 20 (my parents believe that guys aren't ready for marriage until at least 23 and girls 21)and said he should wait a few years. My Dad told me of the proposal and at the time I was very upset with my father for saying that we had to wait. How could he do that to me? But now after I see the results, I am thankful for his wisdom. Actually, Dad had decided to tell him the next time he had a chance that he had changed his mind - but that time never happened. He wasn't happy with my Dad’s decision and started coming over less and less until he didn't come over anymore. A little over a month later we learned that he had gone to ask about courting a friend of mine. Her father also said he wasn't ready. That broke my heart to think that his feelings for me were so shallow, to ask another girl just a month later. I went to the top of our hill and just cried out to God begging him to repair things between us. I really thought he was the one I was going to marry. But that wasn't to be.

After that I had such a hard time trying to figure out what to do with myself. I was so used to having a "boy friend " and having him come over every day, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. The next few months are a cloud to me even now. I was so upset with God. I am sad to say I really didn't care much for God at the time, even when He was the one who was my real comfort through that time. My friends and family were all there for me. I am very thankful for that. One of the hardest things I had to deal with was the questions. So many people knew that there was something going on between us, that when everything stopped, I had to deal with “How is he?” and “Are you two still a couple?” That was difficult, trying to tell them without telling them the whole story.

One of the verses that helped me pull my life back together the most was Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God knew even before I was born that this was going to happen, but he also knows the rest of the story of my life, what I'm going to do tomorrow, what I'm going to do with my life, when I am going to get married, who I'm going to marry, where I'm going to live and everything else. So, really, we don't have to worry about anything. He is there for us through all the bumps in the road. As Philippians 1:6 says, "Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” God will never forget you. He will always be there for you! My Mom gave me this poem to hang in my room. It has been a big comfort to me .

                                           My life is but a weaving

                                           Between my Lord and me.

                                           I cannot choose the colors

                                             He works so steadily.

                                            Oft times he weaves in sorrow,

                                            And I, in foolish pride,

                                            Forget He sees the upper,

                                             And I the underside.

                                            Not till the loom is silent

                                            And the shuttles cease to fly,

                                            Will God unroll the tapestry

                                            And explain the reason Why.

                                            The dark threads are as needed.

                                            In the weaver's skillful hand,

                                            As the threads of gold and silver,

                                            In the pattern He has planned.

                                                   ~Author unknown