It was a hot summer day when I learned one of the best lessons Grams ever taught me. I had been playing with the neighbor’s dog in the shade of the huge oak in Grams’ yard. Laughing, I held a large stick high above my head, twirling as the Golden Retriever barked and danced around me. I lowered the stick, and in one lunge the dog had the stick in his mouth… along with a large chunk of my dress. I stared down in dismay at the ragged edges of my torn dress. I knew right away that it could not be mended. The dress was ruined.

All desire to play with the frisky dog having vanished, I plodded up the stairs and into Grams’ house. She met my long face with a smile, even when she saw the tattered remains of my once-beautiful dress. I held it away from my legs and said, with tear-filled eyes, “Grams, Look what that dog did! Oh, and this was such a beautiful dress!”

Grams knelt down on the floor and studied the material, but she knew as well as I that there was no hope of mending such a large tear. What she said startled me. “It’s still beautiful, Joy.”

“But, Grams,” I protested, “it’s all torn. It’s ugly now.”

Grams shook her head. “It’s beautiful, Joy. Look.” She held up a corner that was still perfect. The material was still beautiful.

I was confused. “Grams, I can’t wear it anymore. It’s ruined.”

“It’s ruined as a dress, Joy, but not ruined. There is still beauty in it.” Grams’ eyes had lit up with the potential she saw for the torn dress.

I left the dress with Grams that day. Later, on a different Tuesday afternoon visit, Grams beckoned me to the spare bedroom. Curious, I followed her. Laid out on the bed was one of the most beautiful quilts that I had ever seen. Every color of the rainbow had been carefully sewn into the intricate patchwork design. Then I stepped closer. Prominent throughout was material from the dress which I had given up as ruined. But in that quilt, I saw that it was in-deed beautiful. Grams taught me an important lesson that has stayed with me: life isn’t what you’re given, it’s what you make of it.

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Dear Joy,

My mother used to tell me, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Life can be a hard and confusing journey. I think back over my life and see that I spent a good deal of time in those “valleys,” but I don’t regret them. It was those difficult times that helped to shape my life and that helped me become the woman I am today.

Has anyone ever told you that your circumstances shape who you are? That is only partially true. We can rise above our circumstances. The truth is, that it’s the way we react to those circumstances that really shapes who we become. The choices I’ve made during the difficult times (and good times, too!) have resulted in who I am today.

It’s not fun to go through those tough times. You know that. I know that, too.

But those trials give an interesting opportunity: they allow us to react to them. We don’t have that opportunity when everything is going well and smoothly. Our reactions then are not the same deciding factor as the ones we have when we’re facing something we don’t like.

These reactions—the ones we make when we’re under stress and pressure—tell the most about us. They tell others who we are inside, not the face we try to show the world. Trials are not failures. We don’t fail a trial until we fail the way we react to the trial.

The Bible has a lot to say about reactions. Check this one out: “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into diverse temptations” (James 1:2). Wow! Was there anything so hard as that? I usually have a hard time being joyful when I’m in the midst of going through something awful. I’d rather be grumpy and complain, but that isn’t a good reaction to those trials.

James adds more to this thought, “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him.” (To look it up go to James 1:12.) Look at that! God promises a crown for us in heaven someday, if we endure when we’re facing temptation. Isn’t that what a trial is? A trial is simply a particular way in which we are being tempted. Temptation is not a sin. It’s what we do with that temptation that determines whether or not we fall into sin.

Lemonade is sweet and tasty (unless you forget the sugar!), but it comes from something very sour: lemons.

Did you ever taste just the juice of a lemon? It wouldn’t be anything like lemonade. A man who had only ever heard of lemonade, tasted a lemon and exclaimed, “How could anything good come from this?”

Trials are just like that. While we are in the midst of them, we wonder how anything good could come out of them. But after they’re all done and passed, we look back and see how we changed through them. And if you choose to have the right reactions, those trials will probably result in something good-–like lemonade.

All my love,

Grams